You know when you have so much going on it causes you to have a full blown panic attack that you decide to take a nap and even that doesn’t work to calm you down? Well that happened. Let me tell you about it.
Warning: I intend to be extremely dramatic.
With only 3 (eek!!) weeks left of my fake life, the reality of me becoming a real person is starting to set in. The uncertainty of my future – meaning what happens after these next 3 weeks – is seriously overwhelming. Will I have a job? Will I have a home to live in? (See? Dramatic.) YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GRADUATE COLLEGE! I REFUSE.
Then, we get to the job part. I could (potentially) have something in the works, but this raises another set of questions: Will I get the job or not? Will I like the job? Will I like the people? Do I even know what I’m doing? What even is the corporate world? CAN I EVEN DO THE WORK?!
Then the question of the apartment hunt: Where will I live? How much is rent? How do bills work? What do you mean I have student loans to pay? How does money even work?
So I did the only logical thing I could think of when all the thoughts about the future got way too consuming: I decided to take a nap.
Only to get waken up to by a phone call.
Cue the mental breakdown. And the tears. And the thoughts of dropping out of school and running away.
The thing is, all of my roommates, friends from home many others my age are going through the same thing. And it’s scary to think about. The good thing is, is that this will hopefully be all over in the coming weeks. Things always work out the way they are supposed to. (Or at least, that’s what I have convinced myself.) So from here on out, I am going to try not to worry about it as much as I have. I have great friends, family and people who will support me no matter what happens. For that, I’m grateful. I will enjoy my fake life with my best friends in the best college town for as long as it lasts. But if those thoughts ever consume my mind again…